Cuddles to Go

Any inventory for expectant parents will include a pram or pushchair.... unless you’re a Wheelie Momma, in which case another set of wheels to negotiate is the last thing you need! Even less so for my other half who already has arms like Popeye from pushing my growing mass around in my wheelchair while I was pregnant. Similar to Mark Darcy telling the pregnant Bridget Jones she was "immense" as he carries her to hospital; just nowhere nearly as romantic (but every bit as funny).

In true Wheelie Momma style I began to research alternatives to prams for carrying Starfish before he was born and I was introduced to the amazing, cuddly world of baby slings and carriers. I've since lost count of the many hours I've spent drooling over the vast array of different types of carrier, not to mention the exquisite fabrics and stunning designs and patterns.

We were fortunate in that there is an amazing lady, Beth; who is a baby carrying consultant and has a shop near us. I made an appointment with her during my pregnancy and she was superb in going through all the different types of carrier with us to find options that would suit both our needs and our budget.

We opted for a "stretchy sling" and a "ring sling" both have different benefits and distinct characteristics but essentially they both allow you to "wear" your baby acting as a type of kangaroo style pouch.

The slings have been such a revelation for us. I can put one on (especially the stretchy wrap) in the morning when I'm getting dressed and can keep it on all day if necessary. It's not bulky or awkward and just looks like a shawl or scarf. There's a bit of a knack to wrapping it at first but under the consultant's expert guidance we got some practice in advance and we soon got the hang of it.

The slings mean that even as a newborn, when we went out and about in my chair, Starfish was safe, secure and snug in on my chest and I had full use of both my hands for other tasks. Starfish loves them as he is close to me at all times and can enjoy skin to skin contact and hear my heartbeat similar to in the womb. This helps him sleep when out, he's less windy in that upright position and the skin to skin helps keep his temperature and heart rate regulated. As well as this, my arms don't get tired, I can shop, eat or drink and all while getting squishy cuddles on the move. What's not to love? I can even feed Starfish in the carriers and they act as a cover too so we don't feel too exposed..

Starfish loves sling cuddles with his Daddy too and it's been a great conversation piece with people stopping them in coffee shops to ask more about the sling and how it works etc. This of course opens the way for the proud Dad to show off his first born at the same time.

So far we have 3 carriers in our collection and I already have my eye on a few more when Starfish outgrows the stretchy. (or when I find the best pattern to match my favourite outfit, whichever is sooner!) Best of all, even if I was to buy a different carrier for every week of the year, I'd still spend considerably less than the cost of the average pram, some of which are more expensive than a decent second hand car!

The perks of being a Wheelie Momma

For information on the different carriers available, to purchase your own or book a consultation visit http://www.lovetobenatural.co.uk/ If you speak to Beth, tell her Wheelie Momma sent you and she will look after you very well x

From The Hands of Babes

Have you ever wondered what’s going on in your little one’s head? Or said to yourself when they were crying “I only wish they could talk and tell me what’s wrong”? So have we... that’s why we were delighted to hear about Sign 2 Music.

Sign 2 Music is a fascinating concept based around British Sign Language (BSL) which teaches your baby basic signs through song and rhyme. When we first mentioned to family and friends that we were doing Sign 2 Music with Starfish and we described it as Baby sign language; the first response was usually “But he’s not deaf” and next came “Won’t that delay his speech”.

I’d done my research however (as I have painstakingly before every parenting decision we’ve made so far) and I was confident that it was something that would improve and encourage Starfish’s communication skills rather than delay them.

A number of doctors in USA began research as far back as 1970 when they found that children of hearing impaired parents could communicate their needs and desires at a much younger age than children of hearing parents. The difference here was the exposure to signing so they began to explore the impact of signing to hearing babies of hearing parents. Studies showed that babies exposed to signs at 6-7 months old began to communicate at 8-9 months old but at this point they lack the physical ability to speak, tongue, mouth and jaw muscle control. Signing improves this and has also been proven to give babies a more sophisticated grasp of language than their peers.

Another study showed that on average signing babies had a higher I.Q (as much as 12 points) and a greater interest in books. Signing children are also proven to have a wider vocabulary than non signers; this is thought to be because words are presented verbally and visually at the same time.

I’ve seen so many babies and toddlers have tantrums and get frustrated trying to communicate when adults don’t have a clue what they are trying to say, I’ve actually been the clueless adult on more than one occasion! This can be heart wrenching for both the child and the adult.

We didn’t need any further convincing; we made enquiries about classes straight away!

So that’s the science, how does it work in practice?

As Starfish was still quite young, I was delighted when we contacted Roberta and she said we could have a private course in our own home.

Roberta arrived with her trusty assistants Signing Sandy and Daisy Doggy (signing puppets), shakers and Sandy’s little bag of sign cards.

The first lesson we learned essential signs like Baby, Milk, Food, Drink Change Nappy, Change, Help, More and Bath. Next we learned family signs, Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, Granny etc

All this learning happened to songs (and yes we did have to sing along) while Starfish looked at us like we had lost the plot. 

Daisy Doggy was a huge hit `however and he even had a brief go at one of the shakers.

The key to success with signing, as with all child development; is consistency and routine. From day 1 of the course, we started using the signs for milk, help and nappy change.  We say “let me help you” while signing help. Then “nappy time” with the sign for change nappy and “milk time” with the sign before each feed.

Starfish watched our hands move with interest and waited for what came next. Within just a few days he obviously started to recognise what the signs meant along with the words we said. For example, if he needed a feed and I said “milk time” or “food time” with the signs he would be calm while I prepared us both for the feed.

Over the next few sessions we learned meal time signs including “more” “full up” and various different food signs, signs for emotions, sad, happy, worried, angry, morning and night time routine signs such as “sleep”, “bed” “get dressed” “bath” etc. We also learned animal signs and many more such as “which”, “where”, “hot” and “cold”

All this happened through song, most of which were popular nursery rhymes or to the same tune as popular children’s songs. Starfish’s favourites are Baa Baa Black Sheep and Miss Polly had a Dolly.

After the second session, not only was Starfish watching our hands intently when we signed but he had started wiggling his own little fingers as if he was trying to copy us! He hasn’t yet managed his first sign himself but I’ve no doubt it’s not far away. He definitely understands the basic signs now and knows what to expect when he sees them.

Now that we are embarking on our weaning journey we have plenty of opportunity to introduce more signs and words to Starfish which I know he will enjoy.

Santa even brought Starfish his very own Daisy Doggy and Sign 2 Music CD which he absolutely loves

Daisy Doggy

The Sign 2 music classes are great fun for parent and baby alike and can be taken in a group setting or on a one to one basis. They are a great value for money and a very worthwhile investment in your family’s future. Not least for the time you could save by mot having to ask your child to repeat themselves 20 times before you finally figure out what they’re trying to say or the money spent on hair dye to cover the grey of sheer frustration.

If you want to know more about Sign 2 Music or to enrol in a class in your area visit http://www.sign2music.co.uk/ or find them on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sign2music1 or Twitter https://twitter.com/sign2music

Our Lottery Win

Thanks to our Health Visitor and fabulous Mary from SureStart going over and above to help and support our family, doing hours of research along with us to see what, if any support exists for families in our situation, we eventually struck gold a few weeks after Starfish was born. Mary found an amazing charitable organisation called Remap NI.

Remap is a national charity working through local groups of skilled volunteers to help disabled people achieve independence and a better quality of life.
They do this by designing and tailor making equipment for their individual needs. This helps them carry out essential daily tasks without having to ask for assistance, or take part in leisure, work or sports that would otherwise be impossible for them as the equipment they need is not commercially available.

Mary wasted no time in getting in contact with Remap NI and spoke to Victor, giving him a brief outline of our plight and the type of help we needed. Very quickly it was agreed that Remap NI were exactly the right people to help us and a date was set for Mary and Victor to visit us at home to discuss everything in more detail. The night before the meeting I went online to look into Remap NI a bit more. When I read some of their case studies and saw the custom made solutions they came up with I was beside myself with excitement. Even before I had spoken to Victor myself, I had a sense that this meeting would be life changing for Starfish and I.

On the day of the initial meeting we all sat in our living room and Victor asked me a bit about Starfish. I could tell by the questions he asked and the genuine warmth and enthusiasm he showed for my answers that he really cared and wanted to do his best to help us. I started to explain what we had experienced to date and why he had been called upon for support but he responded that I didn't need to justify why I needed the help and that it was completely natural that I as a mother would want to be fully involved in every aspect of Starfish's upbringing. I wanted to hug him on the spot! Someone else got it, another member for Team Starfish, who knew what could be possible now.

Victor asked me to talk him through our daily routine, what I did with Starfish, what his Dad did with him and what I'd like to be able to do with him that I couldn't yet be involved in. As I went through everything Victor listened intently and made notes. He then went a stage further and started drawing sketches of potential solutions to the physical barriers and challenges we had. It was agreed that we definitely needed a changing station where I could get in close to Starfish while in my wheelchair and a means of lifting Starfish out of his cot safely and moving him over onto my knee and vice versa. I couldn't believe it when Victor said these 2 things would be relatively easy to achieve. He even went on to discuss a potential pulley system style lift to facilitate floor play with Starfish if he and I were in the house alone.

That may seem like a blasé comment "if Starfish and I were in the house alone". You're thinking, all Mum's can be at home alone with their babies, right? Wrong! Because of my physical limitations and the fact that the standard cot, etc that we had didn't enable me to lift Starfish unaided safely and complete tasks like feed and change him, I had to have someone in the house with me at all times. In the early weeks, if Starfish was sleeping in the Moses basket and woke up hungry; there was physically no way I could safely lift him out of the basket and onto my knee to feed him completely by myself. It is extremely disabling, frustrating and humiliating at 34 years old to effectively need a baby sitter yourself so you can care for your own newborn. Family reassured me that as he grows, Starfish will be in tune with my physical limitations and will quickly adapt to this so we can work together to achieve things. I have no doubt whatsoever that will be true, however the feelings of guilt, frustration and sheer inadequacy in those early weeks were overwhelming.

After the initial meeting with Victor we had some follow up emails and a few more meetings for measurements etc. We decided that the best solutions were to adapt the cot we already had which my friend had gifted us and make a new changing station from scratch. I should point out again in case you missed it earlier, Remap NI is a charity made up entirely of skilled volunteers. They don't charge for any equipment they make and rely solely on donations. The idea of getting custom made furniture for Starfish, not only that didn't exist commercially but likely if it did, it would be so expensive that it would be completely out of our reach, just blew me away.

Victor showed me a YouTube video of a mum in the United States who was a wheelchair user with 2 babies, she had a customised cot for her youngest baby and he thought a similar solution might work for Starfish and I. This involved raising the cot up on extendable legs to make it level with my knees when I was in my chair. Next, rather than the side of the cot dropping down as it did already, they could make a hinged door at one side, big enough for me to open it, lift Starfish and slide him out onto my knee.

The changing station is a simple but perfect construction with a set of drawers down either side and a gap in the middle wide enough for my wheelchair to fit in so I can get in straight and close to the top to change Starfish's nappy; rather than having to twist sideways as I did before. All of this was the handy work of Derek, one of Remap NI's amazing volunteers with an engineering background.

The most amazing thing about Remap NI is that they are willing to remain in contact with us as a family and as Starfish goes and his and my needs change in the future, they are happy to step in and help us again. This is better than a winning lottery ticket for me as it means the possibilities are endless for us. Rather than me having to explain to Starfish that Mummy can't take him out to the park or for a bike ride etc, who know what adventures we will be able to go on together thanks to Remap NI?

A couple of weeks before Christmas we took delivery of the finished pieces. I managed to hold it together while Mary, Victor and Derek were here and we even had time for a few photos. As soon as they left I was overcome with emotion. This really was a game changer for us. I'd be able to change Starfish and when he is ready to move to his bigger cot I can put him down to sleep and lift him out in the mornings without fear of injury for either of us. The simple, instinctual, natural things that every mother does for her baby were now possible for us too!

Right on cue and while I still had tears in my eyes, Starfish filled his nappy. He looked up at me with wide eyes, as if he was saying "come on Mum, let's give this a test drive". I laid him down on the new station and changed his nappy easily (although not as quickly as his Dad can do it!) When I was putting his trousers back on he rolled a little to one side to let me pull them up, then back and the same on the other side. When I said "All done" as is our usual nappy changing finale, he looked at me and beamed! As if he knew that something really big had just happened. We were both proud of ourselves and each other.

With every day that passes and the more we use the new equipment, we become more proficient and our confidence grows. I'm not quite at the place where I can spend a day at home alone with Starfish just yet but I really believe it's not far away. I'm also full of excitement for the future and what we will achieve with Remap NI and the rest of Team Starfish at our back.

To learn more about Remap NI or if you would like to volunteer please visit www.remapni.org
If you'd like to make a donation you can do so here https://www.justgiving.com/remap/donate Please put a note on any donation that it is for Remap NI so that the funds are correctly sent to the Northern Ireland branch

Thank you, until next time. Happy New Year
Love Wheelie Momma and Starfish xxx

10 Things The Antenatal Classes Should Tell You

1. Morning sickness is not restricted just to morning time. It's morning, noon, afternoon, and night.

2. Pregnancy is NOT glamorous. There's nothing "glamorous" about swollen ankles, swollen feet, crushing heartburn, hemorrhoids, constipation and a bladder the size of a peanut.

3. Petite clothes are fine. Maternity clothes are also fine. Petite maternity clothes, not so much. Apparently, hobbit-sized people don't get pregnant.

4. Pregnancy cravings are not just about food. I had a penchant for a petrol scented candle, and yes, these things do actually exist, much to my husband's horror.

5. During pregnancy, you become obsessed with cleanliness. You start to discover dirt in places around your home that you didn't even know existed. And in a cruel twist, you will eventually become too big to actually be able to do any cleaning, and no matter how much your partner tries, their efforts just won't reach your exacting standards.

6. No amount of reading or classes will prepare you for day 1, when you look down and realise that you are now responsible for the wellbeing of another human being for at least the next eighteen years.

7.For the first three weeks after giving birth, you won't want visitors or to socialise in any way. Infact, you won't even want to leave the couch. Infact, the idea of never leaving the house again is quite appealing... Online grocery shopping and delivery suddenly becomes a godsend.


8. The first two weeks of breastfeeding are a nightmare. And breastfed babies DO get wind.

9. You'll become obsessed with weight gain. Just not your own...

10. When you do eventually leave the house, you'll have more bags than Beyonce to carry with you, and it will require more preparation and planning than her world tour.

My Rainbow

With the time of year that's in it and during the last few weeks of sleep regression and teething (Starfish, not me) I've had plenty of time to reflect on the last year and our journey to parenthood.

I watched a programme on TV the other night which showed a lady who had been paralysed preparing for her wedding. It stuck me how desperately sad I felt for her and how I willed her to stand during one of her therapy sessions with everything I had. I started to wonder, why did I feel so much worse for her than I did about my own circumstances? Was it because she had been fully able bodied and had life as she knew it cruelly snatched away from her whereas I've always lived by the motto "what I never had, I'll never miss"?

Although, if I am completely honest, sometimes I do wish that I could just walk around unaided and pain free for just one day. Wake up, jump out of bed and get dressed in seconds rather than the half hour to an hour that it takes me, on the rare days I don't have to ask for help. Most of all I wish just once I could pick up Starfish from his cot and walk around with him or join in floor play with him without spending the entire time worrying how I will actually get back up off the floor myself, never mind lift him up.

I'm not asking any of you to feel sorry for me and I'm definitely one of life’s' optimists, but there is no denying that there are some dark days in my life.

Before getting married and having Starfish, I quipped to my friends that I would never get married or have kids because I didn't want to be "tied down". Looking back now, the truth is, I  thought that I'd never meet anyone who would actually want to marry me or start a family with me. So if I said often enough I didn't want it, it would look like I was deliberately single and I might even start to believe it myself.

After an unhappy long term relationship, which only served to reinforce my opinion that I was destined to be single but I was all in all relatively happy; I met my other half. Despite my best efforts to be as obstinate and stubborn as possible and all but literally push him away, he stuck around and within 4 years we were married.

The girl on the TV show the other night said that her partner lifted her "out of the darkness". I thought, "that's exactly it!". Don't get me wrong, I have an amazing family and the best friends anyone could wish for, but nothing beats having that one person who is on your side above all others no matter what. My ray of sunshine that gives me a reason to smile, laugh and be happy on even the darkest day. The person who has seen me at my absolute ugliest and worst, dried my tears, lifted me out of bed to the bathroom when my back has locked up and I can't move myself, but he loves me anyway.

I'm even more lucky now as not only do I have a ray of sunshine by my side to brighten my once dark skies, I also have my little rainbow baby from whom just one smile makes my heart explode with indescribable joy

PRODUCT REVIEW: Spectra S1 electric pump

As you will know from my last post, from the very early days I have been expressing milk for when Starfish and I wanted to go out. Over the last 12 weeks or so I have tried a number of different pumps, both manual and electric, with varying degrees of success. Obviously there are a number of factors which affect the amount of milk you can express such as the time of day you are expressing, what you've eaten and how much fluids you have drank. I find pumping in the morning gives me highest yield and it helps to have Starfish in the room with me at the time and a big glass of water to hand. That said, the variation of quantity between pumps was remarkable. On average I had less than 1/2 an ounce from the manual pumps and between 3 and 4 ounces with the electric ones based in 40-50 minutes pumping.

That was, until the Spectra S1 Hospital Grade Double Electric Pump came into my life. This piece of kit truly is a gift from the Gods.

It's quick and easy to assemble (instructions are included but I didn't need them). It gives the option of single or double pumping and has a rechargeable battery so that it can be plugged into the mains or used away from home when charged, giving around 3 hours running time on full charge.

One of the first things I noticed about the pump apart from the fact that it's super lightweight is how quiet it is compared to the other pumps I've tried. Some were so loud that they woke Starfish when he was asleep, which in turn meant I couldn't pump as when he wakes he's instantly hungry. Likewise if I tried to pump when he was occupied with his Dad, the pumps were again so loud that I couldn't hear the radio or TV over them dispte being just a few metres away from them! With the Spectra S1 Starfish can nap while I pump and watch TV happily and importantly fully relaxed rather than feeling like a cow in a milking parlour

The Spectra S1 has a night light with gradual brightness settings and a handy timer which is set in 30 minute blocks and automatically stops after a cycle. 

It's really comfortable with decent size flanges and it has 2 modes; massage and expression. It is recommended that you set the pump to massage mode at first until your milk starts to flow and the switch to expression mode. You also have varying vacuum levels and cycle time (strength and number of pumps per minute). With this level of customisation, pumping is comfortable and painless while at the same time allowing you to get maximum possible yield. Some of the other pumps I've tried left me sore and even bruised after a 40 minute session but the Spectra was gentle and super efficient. So much so that after less than 30 minutes I had a huge 10 ounces of milk, more than double what I've ever achieved with the other pumps and in less time.


Spectra S1 Hospital Grade Double Electric Breast Pump isn't the cheapest on the market but I would highly recommend it for comfortable and efficient pumping that won't take up hours of your day. In fact for busy breastfeeding mommas who need lots of milk, fast, I'd say this is a must have.

In the lightweight box you get

S1 Pump motor
Breast shield set x 2
Backflow prevention filters x 2
AC adapter x 1
Inbuilt rechargeable battery(can be used plugged in or runs with the battery
Collection bottles x 2
Bottle stands x 2 

Mum's in the UK, you can buy your pump here Spectra Baby UK or Anawiz

Mum's in Australia or New Zealand get yours here http://spectra-baby.com.au/ref/WheelieMomma

Rental options are also available if you want to try it out before purchasing but take it from me, you need this pump. Go on, treat yourself!